I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
