so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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