I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
