he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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