Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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