i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize