a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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