phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
vagina is talking i cant
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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