i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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