Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
