please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
