So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
