am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
