My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
