marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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