clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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