you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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