look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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