Midget sex pt 2 tonight
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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