I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize