Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We are all done wearing pants today
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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