Can Purell be used as lube?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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