are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
