physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
