i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize