Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
