the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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