i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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