Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
