he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
