if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
