My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
