Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is Oprah even human
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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