All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
