Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
