1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
