But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
