I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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