They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize