i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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