Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
