seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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