I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
