i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
