I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize