do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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