So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
