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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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