make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
ok first of all what the fuck
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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