Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
