I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
