Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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