I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
