she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
