im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My ass is underappreciated
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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