ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
