I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
