Sponge bath it is.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
