I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize