Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
