Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
