i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she peed on how many people?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
