I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
