help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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