your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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