Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
