Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
did i walk over a car last night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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