i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
