3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize