This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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