Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
