I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dear god my vagina.
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